What I learned about healthy male masturbation


I read an interesting article by Paul Nelson who is a male Sexuality Educator in New York about how certain men’s masturbation habits and techniques are adversely affecting them. Paul mentioned two things in particular which I wanted to share with my readers:

1 – Desensitized penis

Paul writes that one of the most frequent issues he comes across is men having a desensitised penis due to masturbating too quickly and roughly and without any lubrication. According to Paul this type of masturbation “deadens the sensory nerves in the penis” and “the penis comes to depend on that sort of intense stimulation in order to climax”.

2 – Rushing to orgasm

Paul talks about about men rushing their masturbation sessions for various reasons which eventually trains their bodies to “orgasm as quickly as possible”.

Read Paul Nelson’s full article here:

How sensual and Tantric massage can help

I feel that sensual and Tantric massage addresses both issues mentioned in this article very well. Very gentle teasing touching is used to lightly stimulate the penis and the pure Organic massage oils I use are an excellent male lubricant. Not only does the gradual stimulation of the penis engages all the nerve endings but all the build-up of the gentle teasing of all the erogenous zones before actually touching the penis greatly increases the pleasure. I really don’t think the term “Happy Ending massage” is a very good term as sensual massage is highly enjoyable throughout the whole of the massage, not just during the part of the climax. I also believe that the gradual and teasing build-up during my massage leads to a much more powerful orgasms for my clients.

Interesting views of Maya Yonika on Western Tantra

I was really intrigued by Maya Yonika’s video where she discusses certain part of her journey through Tantra. Maya is a world renowned Tantric Practitioner and author of “No Mud, No Lotus; a memoir of Sex, Betrayal and Spiritual Awakening.” In the video Maya compares the search for the perfect sexual partner or the perfect sexual experience to materialistic and wanting beautiful expensive luxury goods or material wealth.

In Maya’s words:

more juicy sex, more orgasms. It’s not that different from the cultural mind as it is. And that’s why so many people enter into Neo-Tantra. Wow, life is going to get really blissful and sex is going to look really good and I’m going to have a bunch of lovers and everything is going to be great after that. It’s sort of the same as I’m going to get a Mercedes and I’m going to get loads of money, I’m going to get the perfect partner and everything is going to be great after that.

Her view is so interesting, as I had never considered that there is so much more to Tantric massage than just creating the “perfect” sensual massage experience. I guess the lesson I take away from Maya that there is no such thing as perfection in Tantra, but each persons individual journey.

Here is the the actual video:

Classic Tantra vs Neo Tantra

Tantric massage is part of something called Neo Tantra, which is an adaptation of ancient Classic Tantrik traditions. In a way Classical Tantra and modern Neo Tantra are at the opposite end of each others in terms of their believes as Classic Tantra has mainly to do with spiritual enlightenment and awareness in the upper four chakras. These are from the heart chakra up through past the crown chakra. Some of the disciplines involved in the mastery of Classic Tantra are: Conscious breath-work, deep meditation and self discipline and also the carefully guided awakening of Kundalini life force energy for spiritual purposes. As you can probably tell this has very little to do with Tantric massage but I wanted to share this information with people interested in Tantric massage to differentiate what I do in my Tantric massage from ancient Classical Tantra.

My Tantra – Neo Tantra

Neo Tantra deals mainly with the lower three chakras: from the solar plexus down to the root chakra at the base of the spine. I focus on increasing orgasmic pleasure and the capacity for fuller body orgasms during climax. My favorite part of Tantric Massage is the massage of the male pelvic area and erogenous zones called the Lingam Massage, which is a gentle and loving massage of a mans lower belly and whole pelvic area and genitals.

Which type of Tantra is right for you?

Most Western people find Neo Tantra an easier introduction to Tantric principles. From what I understand most Western people who discover Tantric massage or couple who practice Tantric Sex find that it is exactly what they are looking for but a small number of people actually go on dedicating themselves to deepening their understanding and progressing to more Classic form of Tantra which takes them away from Sensual practices.

If you are interested in finding out more about the differences between Classic Tantra and Neo-Tantra I highly recommend this blog post:

Neotantra vs. Tantra: 6 Key Differences

Bayswater – my area

I frequently see clients who have travelled to London for a brief visit on business or holiday from other parts of the UK or from abroad so decided to write this post for them to give them a bit of an overview about Bayswater, the area where I am based.

Bayswater is one of London’s most cosmopolitan areas with rumoured highest turnover of population in London. Queensway and Westbourne Grove are its busiest main streets, both having many ethnic-cuisine restaurants.
Bayswater area is about 30 blocks away from Marble Arch, Oxford Street, where the actual “City of London” and all we picture in our minds when we think of London. The area has two tube stations, Bayswater and Queensway and various buses run almost 24 hours a day. You can get there from Heathrow by tube with just one connection in between or take the Heathrow Express from Paddington.

Also nearby is Portobello Market, which is an incredibly eclectic market set on Portobello Road displaying antiques, food, regional products second hand items, and street artists.

My recommendations for Interesting places to visit in Bayswater:

Bayswater road art show – Sunday morning
Bayswater Road, which runs along the north end of Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens, is a great place for a walk for a couple of hours on a Sunday morning as it has many different painters and artists exhibiting their art on the wall of the park.

Whiteleys shopping centre
The shopping centre is a beautiful a Grade II Listed Building building , with plenty of interesting history as it has been first built in 1863. The building has survived one of the largest fires in London’s history in 1887. The shopping centre currently has a cinema, lots of cafe’s and restaurants and shops and even a bowling alley.

The Porchester Spa
The Porchester Spa is set inside of a 1929 building and the interiors are fabulous. This is the spa to come to if you like pools (they have a proper swimming pool, plus a plunge pool for cooling off after a stint in one of the three Turkish hot rooms). People – including lots of local men – come here for no-nonsense treatments (like the Hot Towels Treatment ) at affordable prices, including wraps, facials and massages. The spa has alternate male and female only days 6 days a week so check in advance before visiting. They alo have an couples day once per week.

Check out this article if you like random facts about fake houses at 23 and 24 Leinster Gardens:

My fist blog post

Hello, this is my first blog post, I’m so excited!
I have head this website now year and I kept meaning to start blogging but life seemed to always too busy.
The are so many things related to the massage I would like to write about and I am really looking forward to sharing them with you here on my blog.

Another reason I wanted to write this blog is because it would really like to document my person journey in learning more about Tantra. As mentioned on my about my massage page my main experience is in therapeutic massage which I have more than eight years of experience in and I have been providing erotic massage for only the last few years of those.
For quite some time I really felt that my erotic massage was amazing enough and that as an experienced massage therapist and as a very sensual woman by nature there nothing new that could be taught to me, but lately I have been more and more curious about what new things I can learn.

Recently I have been learning more about Tantric techniques which has added a whole new dimension to the massage experience that I provide. Tantra is so much more than just a few new massage techniques and I feel that I am discovering a whole new way of thinking about the body.

I am currently reading a few books on Tantra and I’m looking forward to sharing the new things I learn in this blog with you and hopefully one day I get to demonstrate them properly during a massage is well!

One of the things I have learnt is that original Tantra from many years ago has very little to do with the type of tantra practiced today in the West. The Tantra we we are the most familiar with has actually been invented by several different teachers in the West. I am currently in the process process reading about this at the moments, and I look forward to sharing my findings in another blog posts with you soon.